Winter - I'm Over it!

When Punxsutawny Phil, famous groundhog and prognosticator of winter weather, declared that he had seen his shadow and we would have eight more weeks of cold, wet, snowiness, I sighed. I am sure I was not alone - anyone ready for some spring sunshine? Even though it was muddy and windy last weekend I took my bike, (the pedal kind,) to one of our local trails and rode twelve miles until my legs were numb. When I got home I looked at the five-day forecast and, sure enough, there was snow predicted for this week. UGH! I’m over it! One day its freezing cold and the next it’s unseasonably warm and the tornado sirens are going off.

I’m ready to get out the potting soil and start cleaning up my garden ready for some spring planting. I’m ready for the farmer’s markets to start back up with spring vegetables for sale. I’m ready to wear a green t-shirt on St. Patrick’s Day, not a green down coat! The trees and plants are confused; I see buds on my dogwoods but I’m afraid they will get frozen before the last days of winter leave us. I know I’m going on about the weather, but it seems to be part of everyone’s conversation this year. Don’t get me wrong, I love the seasonal changes and enjoy the cold weather for a few months. But this year it feels as if it started early and has gone on too long. I want winter to be over!

There was an interesting discussion on global warming on one of the Sunday talk shows recently. The expert pointed out that global warming doesn't mean that the weather will just get hotter. He said that it really meant weather extremes would increase and become more commonplace: The cold of winter would be more severe and the heat of summer more intense. So, perhaps this year’s weather is indicative of our current weather pattern? It’s not just here in southern Illinois that the weather has been severe. Droughts in California and floods in the United Kingdom are just some of the examples. Unseasonably warm weather at the winter Olympics and records snow falls in parts of the Midwest and the east coast. When spring does get here I plan to enjoy it to the fullest as I have a sneaky feeling summer will be upon us before we are ready for it.

Maybe the best thing we can do is just start acting as if its spring - time to step into the local boutique and check out this year’s spring sandals and Easter dresses. Maybe I'll get a pedicure and  new hair color to shake off the winter blues! Or perhaps it’s time to forget the chili and make a big fresh salad instead. Because whether we have spring weather or not, spring events and activities are starting up all around us. Time to sign up for softball and plan spring break trips to the beach! Definitely time to shave my legs! 

{EAV:8c7c9bf78864d983}

FUN-Nana!

Many people tell me I don’t look my age. I won’t make any secret of the fact that I love that! Frankly, I work at keeping myself fit and dressing youthfully. I enjoy being able to do things that some women half my age struggle with. For instance, I like to ride my bike, and I pride myself that I can still go ten or twelve miles over mixed terrain, that includes some steep hills and gravel trails. I may be over fifty but I’m not ‘over the hill’!

I don’t mind admitting that when my grandson, Elijah, was born I was not too thrilled about the title of Grandma – it definitely conjured up visions of a grey haired older lady in a rocking chair!  I did not want to be labeled ‘Old’! I soon realized I was not alone: Lots of my baby-boomer friends had children when they were in their early 20’s. And those children had children in their early 20’s…which has led to a whole lot of forty something grannies! As most of us don’t want to be reminded that we now fall into the same category as our own grandmothers we’re come up with a long list of creative names: Meemaw, Meme, Mamaw, and probably one of the most popular Nana.

I tried on the title when he was born and it seemed to be a good fit, so I am Nana Karen. Eli is now eleven and this summer he made his first solo flight to visit ‘the Funnana’. That’s what he calls me – I am the fun Nana! I will take him to Crash Comics to buy Magic cards; in fact I am willing to learn to how to play with them. I will let him play Minecraft on my computer and eat ice cream straight from the tub. I will buy him new sneakers (even if he doesn’t really need them) and have a couple of Carl Heisen books waiting when he gets here. (He really likes Chomp and Flush.) We always have a lot of fun together.

But the ‘Funnana’ outdid herself this visit. We went to the City Museum in St. Louis; the one we featured in last month’s issue. It was more fun than we could have imagined from the pictures…amazing place. But it’s full of places to climb, crawl, and scoot through – well not just through: Over, under, around and into would be a more accurate description. And the ‘Funnana’ had to join in! Up there in the cage, waiting for Eli to take a picture, I took a moment to reflect: This time last year I was in a hospital bed on chemo and wondering if I would live until Christmas. Here I was, having a blast, three stories up in a small cage tunnel, surrounded by hundreds of children and adults - and feeling really alive! Thanks Eli for making sure the ‘Funnana’ had fun!

Back to blonde ...

It’s interesting how your hair, especially for women I think, can make a huge difference in self-confidence and attitude. When my hair first started to grow back after I finished my chemotherapy it was platinum, fine and curly! But at least I had hair - hair on my head meant I was recovering and gave me a big boost. It thought it looked cute – kind of Annie Lenox-ish! Then it turned a dark shade of charcoal gray, and became thicker and thicker. It grew in a giant swirl from the crown of my head and curled obnoxiously around my neck as if I had one of my grandmother’s perms! It was too short to style and products just dried it out even more.

My hairdresser, (I can't help it if I still use the English vernacular,) suggested that we try a brown/red shade so that I didn’t notice the curls and swirls as much. I liked it when I left the salon, but a few days later I realized that the platinum hair had made me feel kind of sexy! With blonde hair I stood out in a crowd and I made a statement; I was rocking the post chemo hairdo! Red/brown didn't look natural and it didn't look different. I had lost my mojo. The more I looked at that red hair the less alive I felt...in fact that, coupled with a few extra pounds from celebrating that I could taste food again, and a sluggish metabolism from the sudden onset of menopause, (also due to chemo) and I was downright depressed. A couple of weeks later I stood in front of the mirror and gave myself a good “talking to”. I went on a strict diet, increased my exercise and went back to the salon.

Sheri, my hairdresser was not a happy camper. " It's going to rot off your head sister!" she said, with one hand on her hip and the other pulling at my 3/4 inch hair. "I'm afraid that it won't bleach out to platinum like you want and what are we going to do when you need those roots touched up?!"  I assured her I would not hold her responsible for the outcome.  Heck, it had already fallen out once, so what if I had to shave it off again.

I sat under that drier with bleach on my head for three and half hours. Sheri had to apply bleach twice " Or you'll look like Big Bird!'" she said. "Don't be surprised if your scalp blisters," she added. But once it was washed and trimmed it looked just as I had pictured...and I was back to blonde!

It changed everything: The diet started working and the smile returned to my face. I even went out and bought a truly too tight dress for a charity event the next weekend. I do have to admit that it is breaking off at the tips in places and its very dry. OK, so I have to spray it with 10 Miracle cure twice a day and it may never see a drier again!  Sheri has told me it has to grow out at least another inch before we bleach it and the roots are not my favorite thing.  But she assures me that dark roots and platinum tips will look great!

In my online world...

I’m a communicator so I’ve always tried to keep in touch with my friends and family. When I first moved to the US overseas phone calls were expensive and hardly anyone had a computer. (Well, that gives away my age doesn’t it!) Cell phones were the size of a large briefcase and weighed pounds; not exactly mobile.  We wrote letters and waited two or three weeks for them to be delivered. Ahhhhh the good old days!

But the world of communication has changed and I have a couple of very good examples to share with you to prove the point. A few weeks ago I got a Facebook message from a friend I went to dancing school with back when I was four. What could I tell her about Murray State University?  Now, that’s an odd question from a woman who lives in Portsmouth, England, so I told her as much as I could and directed her to various websites. Then I asked why she was so curious about MSU? “Emma has been invited to join the track team,” she told me. Emma, her eldest daughter, is 18 and has been running for years; apparently she’s good enough to attract the attention of the coach at MSU. Before I had the chance to even get onto SKYPE and talk to the family about the offer I got another message. “We talked to Coach (on SKYPE) and Emma accepted…she starts in August!” Incredulously, of all the places that Emma could have chosen for school she has ended up not 50 miles away from one of her mother’s oldest friends!  ‘Auntie’ Karen is going to be busy next year making sure Emma gets a nice home cooked meal once in a while and that her mother isn’t worried sick about her.

My second example comes from my 89 year old Mum and my 86 year old Uncle. My mum’s laptop has a camera and when my sister is around to encourage her, (and insist she roll her ‘hover round’ up to the desk,) she will talk to me on Google Chat.  She’s always happy to see if my hair is growing, the new “wellington boots” I got for Christmas, or wave at the dogs.  My sister chats and shares what they have been up to all week.  It really feels as if we are not quite so far apart. Uncle Bob is much more technically oriented and often checks to see if I am online and available to chat. Unfortunately, the time difference and this magazine get in the way, but we manage to speak every week or so.  He’s really fun to talk to and we have developed a wonderful relationship over the net!

Britt, my husband, is ‘old school’. He is still a firm believer in a hand written thank you note or a nice card and I certainly agree with him that nothing replaces that personal touch. But while letters were great back in the day, I like the fact that I can now see my friends and family and hear their voices. It’s really nice to speak with my grandson in California and see the new kitten he got recently. I still think it’s amazing that I can ‘Facetime’ with my daughter, or best friend Cheryl, right on my phone. So, if you haven’t taken the plunge into virtual communication I recommend giving it a try. But for my Aunt Edna, who will never embrace ‘modern technology’…I’m writing you a letter.

Crowning glory

My daughter is visiting.  She's 28 and lives in San Francisco with her 10 year old son, Eli.  She's an aerial artist who supports herself by writing grants for a non profit charity. ( There I managed to paint an outline of her in two sentences that does her justice!)  She's affectionately referred to as "mini me" and "Darling Dee".

When she was growing up I went through several bouts of serial dating.  I was the hot mama!  Even her college friends said so -  a MILF (A title I was proud to own I might add!)  Short blood red spiky hair, size 2 and buff from training, with a killer wardrobe and a passion for sexy high heeled shoes.  I have a nose piercing. I think she liked having a sexy mom.  She certainly liked borrowing the shoes from my closet.

But I'm married and post cancer these days, and perhaps not so sexy. Today she stopped as she passed the bathroom where I was combing my long hair before dinner. "Oh Mom", so sighed. "You and your hair!"
I asked her what she meant.  "Well it used to be so hot and short and sexy," she told me.  "Now you have that cutesy pink clip in it with bling,..its just not your style!"

OK, I admit I was sad. 'This isn't my style either' I told her later. This is just what happens when you have to take drugs for Rheumatoid Arthritis, and you've had gall bladder surgery, and your hair is post anesthesia! It gets a bit dry and brittle as you get older...and its almost white, so as my color grows out I have roots! I can't wear it up, tussled on my head in a sexy knot with white roots! The spiky red hair was totally cool back when Annie Lenox ruled and I lived in Asia and San Francisco.  Here in the almost south, it's a bit harsh and unexpected on a slight 52 year old.  It frightens off the natives! The best thing I have heard said about it was that it made me a bit unapproachable and intimidated most men.  (Not to mention women...who all thought I looked too much like competition and wanted me as far from their husbands as possible.I was rarely invited to dinner parties when my hair was short and spiky!)

The long brownish/red straightened hair is pretty and sophisticated. My husband likes it. It doesn't intimidate anyone.  Its easier to tie back and 'clip'. But I do mourn "the look" that made everyone comment. My crowning glory has gone the way of my fast fun youth.  One day Darling Dee will understand when its just not cool for her to wear her Mohawk anymore!

Ok, I just had to wrote it....

Show me the money....

Instead of complaining, (which I realize has been the majority of my bogging so far, ) I thought I might try and post something helpful.

How to manage account collections in a small business.
This is a subject dear to my heart: If you don't manage your collections you won't stay profitable and remain in business. I am a publisher and all my income comes from advertising. For most of my customers, advertising is a long way down the list from rent and the electric bill. It's also low priority when American Express is calling asking for payment in full on all the product you bought at the trade show!

I believe that I offer very good value for money and that our publications produce real results for our customers.  I want to stay in business and I insist on getting paid.  That does not always make me popular. I have been called some really nasty things for going after a bill.  Too bad! Until recently I was single, and not getting paid meant not paying my mortgage.  I have have extended credit during hard economic times to new customers to attract business. But I am not going to be an easy mark.

Rule 1. Document
Every customer gets a contract. It has their name, signature, address, social security number and tax ID. It has a minimum of two phone numbers and an alternative contact name on it! It has been reviewed by an attorney and the credit bureau: The wording is airtight.  It is collectible in a court of law.


It also states, as does every other piece of marketing material and pricing information a customer gets, that all discounts and deals are null and void once that bill becomes delinquent.  This can be a very good negotiating point later on.

I use Quickbooks for my accounting. Its' fairly easy to master and keeps very good records for tax purposes. It already has collection reports and past due account information, so finding the list of scumbags (I mean valued customers) who owe you money should not be hard.  Enter every invoice and make sure even cash payments are entered into the system.  I always give a receipt for cash from a receipt book that is numbered.

Rule 2. Document
My invoices are due net 15 and they say so. On the invoice itself, on the contract, on the sales information packet and on my collection letters.  I give 15 days grace period and then the bill is past due.  At the 30 days mark customers get a 'past due' statement.  It's stamped past due! It shows their account transactions from the last 0 balance (even if that was a year ago.) If they paid something in the last 30 days they get a cute pink sticker - " Please note new balance, thank you for your payment."

At 40 days past due they get a phone call, which is documented on their account. "We're trying to close out the books from last month and we noticed you hadn't paid your invoice. Did you receive one? I know things can get lost in the mail."  This gives the customer an "out"; a way to save face and offer to pay right away.
Half of them claim they didn't get an invoice. So we mail and email a duplicate. We ask the to take care of the bill right way and if possible we pick up a check. Half of them pay up.

At 50 days they get another phone call: "Hi, we spoke last week and we still haven't received your payment, would you like to make an arrangement? If we don't get your payment in ten days interest will start to accrue. Please refer to your contract for the details"  At this point you are probably leaving a message on a machine.  These are your problem clients.

At 60 days they get a registered letter. " Here is your past due statement of all the activity on your account together with your invoices. We have added interest.  (Compound, from the 30 day point after the first bill came due.  If they make a payment and I know them, I sometimes do not add interest for that month.) All your discounts are now void and your account balance has been adjusted accordingly. (This one is definitely a  shock for them as that bill has now substantially increased and you've added interest to the no longer discounted price.) We must hear from you regarding payment or an arrangement's to pay in 10 days or less. If we haven't heard from you by that date we will refer your account to an attorney. The attorney will add fees and further interest. You will be reported to credit bureaus. We don't want to do this and I am sure you don't want us to either, so please call."

A small percentage will now call upset and appalled that you increased their invoice and added that much interest. They will tell you some story about their sick mother, or that they had a client bounce a check on them...whatever. About 20% will pay some or all of the bill in an payment arrangement. Be prepared to call them weekly and collect the check in person. Be prepared to leave many messages on that answering machine.  Be prepared to negotiate that interest. "Look, I will take off the interest if you pay this in full in three payments."

Who collects?
Account Executives have the best relationship with your clients so they should make the first calls.  You should never make calls as the business owner. If possible have a spouse or friend make those second calls.  Don't hesitate to play "good cop, bad cop".  If you know the client well, it may be appropriate to call them and tell them that the account is heading to collections and you're personally asking them to take care of this matter. Be prepared to lose customers!

Rule 3. Use an Attorney.
Although you may have to pay fees upfront, attorneys are by and large far more efficient at collections than a credit collection center.  If that bill is under $200 you may want to write it off at this point.  The fees may out weigh the results.  But a decent attorney can get 50% of the deadbeats to pay within a month.  Some will go bankrupt and others will have to be garnished which could take forever.

We typically invoice 80 - 90 customers per month. I have less than 2% of my accounts enter collections, but it may take me a year, and a lot of calls and leg work, to get paid in full.  I write off about 4 accounts a year. And I'm pretty happy with that :-)

I just had to wrote it...

Being sick and self employed....

I was told today that I should take the next two weeks off work to recover from the removal of my gall bladder. Laughing hysterically I informed the nice discharge nurse that I would be returning to my home, and hence my office, and hence my computer by 2 pm this afternoon...and look, I'm early!!

As most of you self employed types will attest, being seriously ill can be a catastrophe when you have a business to run.  Just like the rest of the working adult world we get sick with colds, flu, a pulled muscle, a broken arm etc.  Unlike those with a paid job and a generous employer (i.e my husband), we do not get paid when we are ill.  It's bad enough if you don't get sick pay from your job, but at least there's long term disability in most cases or even SSI if its serious such as cancer.  I know that's not much money or much comfort but when the only income you have is from the daily activity you produce....well its scary.

Last year I had breast cancer.  They told me I would be unable to work at all for 6 - 8 weeks and then back on light duty for 4 more. I was in despair. My magazine is published monthly.  At best I have a 5 day window near the end of each month when I can relax enough to get housework done and weed the garden!  If I am really careful and manage my time, I can squeeze in a week with my daughter in San Francisco, or even a road trip with my man.  (Of course I pay dearly for that when I get back and have to cram billing and accounting into 2 days instead of 5, and designing the next months edition into 3 days rather than 7.)  The prospect of being sick for months with chemo etc was a daunting prospect and I seriously wondered if I could continue to work.  Then I wondered how I would survive if I didn't continue to work!

Cancer made me really get my act together. I delegated, I organized, I managed the processes of my magazine carefully.  I figured out how to do as much as I could with a dropbox, logmein and cloud computing.  My iPhone was absolutely my best friend.  When the iPad came out I bought version 2 and love it.  I can work anywhere! I paired down my busy work and concentrated on the key things that I needed to personally manage each month that were bottom line issues.  Somehow it worked and I put out my magazine 5 days after a double mastectomy.  I was in pain, I was tired, but I was determined...and self employed.

This time it was my gall bladder and my first mistake was checking into a local doctors office rather than driving to Vanderbilt in Nashville.  (I keep telling myself I have to give the local physicians a chance, and then I do ...and I tell myself it will be the last time LOL) The doctors here are generally fine.  They care, they're personable and their staff have the ubiquitous southern charm. But they over test, over operate and over book! Of course that's just my opinion, but this is my blog!

I went to the emergency room over 10 days ago with a bad gall bladder -  Start the $ signs rolling because these docs are self employed! During the first 10 days I have had an endoscopy, CT scan, 6 sets of blood work and saw four doctors. (And they wanted to do a Colonoscopy as well!)  Each billed me for an office visit, hospital visit, and tests. After three days I went home. By Monday I am writhing in agony...simply unable to eat, drink or sleep. back to the hospital for another day and a half. It took 10 days to get my gall bladder taken out! 10 days of being too sick and on too many pain meds to really work.

Being self employed is great. I love it. AND, being sick and self employed can be catastrophic. I guess figuring what to do about that and how to head off a disaster is a whole new blog!  For now I just want to keep healthy...and I'm waiting for that horrendous bill from the hospital and those 4 doctors. I'm sorry but taking two weeks off from work is just not an option for the self employed.

OK, I just had to write it!!