It's better to ask forgiveness....

I think it was one of my first employers who taught me this lesson:

It's better to ask for forgiveness than permission...

I like to pull that thought out of my hat whenever I am motivated to accomplish something that I know will be questioned by a third party.  It's not that I can't usually persuade people to see my point of view, or the value of my idea, but sometimes I just don't want to go through the motions. The information I need is available, just from the usual channels I am supposed to get it from.  The thing I want or need is in the store room, I just don't have a requisition for it. I'm not supposed to be involved in that decision, but if I make a discrete phone call I can probably influence it. The truth is I would rather ask forgiveness after the fact than ask permission to act.

Sometimes, I get away with murder!  Sometimes, this philosophy comes back to bite me in the ass.

Today I was bitten. I knew the minute I opened the email that I had been caught being slightly disrespectful to someone else's opinion, and their expended time and energy.  It wasn't that I was altogether wrong but I had not explained my thought prossess appropriately and in the course of acting expediently (and, if I am being honest, on my own agenda) I had been rude.  Which leads me to another one of those little sayings I live by...

If you're wrong, say so...

A swift apology was in order.  The person I offended has been diligently trying to do her job and I was not making it any easier by going around her.  So I told her I was very sorry and acknowledged my evil intentions.

The grown-ups I like to deal with are the ones who can tell you when you're full of it and accept an apology if its swift, forthright and thorough.  (Not, "I'm sorry if I have offended you" when you know damn well they couldn't give hoot.) It's something I tried to instill in my kids when they were younger.  You won't get punished for saying you are sorry. As an adult I can forgive and get over it.  There is something cathartic about cleaning up a little mess, apologizing and moving on.

But I doubt I will ever give up acting without permission sometimes because, more often than not, I get away with it and that's a huge payoff!